Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
