Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
