thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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