i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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