OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
