You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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