Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Rumble strips road head = magical
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
