How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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