so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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