I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
