my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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