You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
