Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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