i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
