talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
