Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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