it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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