i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
