honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
