does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
