So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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