think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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