i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
