am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
