hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i think my mom watched the whole time
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
