so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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