White coat. Heels.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
