I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
