I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
