Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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