You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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