I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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