Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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