You made me cry and you don't even care
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
