You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
