He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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