He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
