Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
So many bounce houses so little time
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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