Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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