Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
