I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Randomize
