All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
