I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
