i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Your cock deserves a montage
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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