just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
