I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
