Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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