This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
