He uses pillows to masturbate.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
