PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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