I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
